The Truth About “Finding Yourself”

Instagram: @delightfuldaysblog

Hellllooo Everybody

Long time no see! I’m happy to be writing again on Delightful Days after being a little absent for a while. It’s been a crazy semester and as time went on it seemed there was less and less time I could devote to Delightful Days.

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Teddy Coat and sweater: Forever 21 / Denim Mom Jean: Pac Sun

Time is actually kind of what I want to talk about today. How my time has been this semester, how time changes and evolves, things like that. I sort of pride myself on being a pretty happy, go lucky person. That was partly why I created Delightful Days. I wanted to help others piece together their life in a way that makes sense to them. I wanted to help people find their happy place like I found mine. However , as hard as it is to admit, happiness hasn’t been my strong suit recently.

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Fall semester of  last year, (2016) was a strange semester of best’s and worst’s. I found my solid group of friends, I was thriving in my classes, I had a chair position in my sorority. I was comfortable in my own skin and felt amazing both physically and mentally.  I “found myself”. However, September was a month of tragedy and within the same week I lost one of my childhood best friends and went through a tough breakup. Like I said, it was a strange semester of bests and worsts. Although I was much more sad than at the beginning of the semester, I  surprisingly still felt good and like I was the right path.

January came along and I travelled to Ireland to study for four months. Long story short, I had the time of my life. I travelled around Europe, met amazing friends, and got the perfect break I needed from the real world. Once again, I had “found myself”. Leaving Dublin was for lack of better words, sad. I was sad my time was over, sad that I wouldn’t get to see my friends, and sad that I wouldn’t have a decent scone for a pretty long time. However, I got back into the swing of summer and things were okay. Along comes August and I’m ecstatic to turn 21, see all my college friends, and get back right where we left off. Much to my surprise, finding my place again was much harder than I thought

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I had two jobs this semester, both of which included me being responsible for students and their work. I loved both of the jobs but realized that both entailed others being very reliant on me. Again this was a love, hate, sort of thing but I found it to be one of my huge stressors. I like to put my absolute all into any project I’m a part of, so when I feel like I’m not doing that, it really gets to me.

Another issue that kept coming up this semester was my health. Within the past year or so I’ve been diagnosed with some digestive issues like IBS and SIBO (I’m hoping to do a separate post about this soon!). This made something as simple as finding something to eat difficult and was another huge cause of stress this semester. I am a huge foodie, so not being able to eat food I love and having to critically think about my food choices was incredibly annoying and exhausting for me.

I never gave myself a second to relax and wanted to do it all; work, school, my blog, job searching, hanging with friends. Before I knew it, life was hard. It was hard for me to wake up happy and be my normal upbeat self.  It was hard to motivate myself to get things done and the less I got done the less happy I was with myself. It was a never ending cycle. It wasn’t until recently that I decided this needed to stop. I needed to stop expecting incredibly high standards out of myself and needed to realize I’m just a person. A person who wants to do well, yes, but also a person who is allowed to say no to things and may not always be the “best”  at something.

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I haven’t yet hit that aha moment yet where I feel like everything is in place again, but I do feel like it’s important to be self-aware and realize when things aren’t going the way you want and realizing, you have the power to change it. Basically, what I’m trying to get at is that, you are going to find and lose yourself a million times. It’s okay to take a step backwards and it’s okay to lose yourself for a little while. I feel like there’s this perception that once you’ve found yourself then that’s it. You are now happy forever! Congratulations! Wrong. You will most likely struggle again, and you’ll have to find your aha moment again, and that’s okay.

I’ve decided to start sharing more of my life on Delightful Days and in doing this, I hope it may relate to someone out there whose experiencing the down side of life’s ups and downs. Thanks so much for stopping by and to see more about me and my life check out @delightfuldaysblog on Instagram!

Have a Delightful Day,

Kaitlin

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